Leading with Grace

Do you expect others to automatically follow you because of your big, great ideas?  Do you want others to agree with you all the time? Or, do you hammer through projects and expect others to do the same? Do you get mad when people don’t follow your lead?

If any of these resonate with you, then you are likely a driver and achiever.  This is a great thing, because you can get a lot done and you can be very focused – both valuable attributes.

While having high expectations is honourable, sometimes, we need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Constantly driving and achieving (and expecting others to do the same) can also be a challenge and it doesn’t always motivate people to WANT to help you or be part of a team.

We are each motivated for our own reasons. Knowing what motivates others is a valuable tool when you are a leader. Whether you are leading your family, your staff or team, your organization or business, understanding others is the key to effective leadership.

Here are a few ways to help you Lead with Grace:

Listen, REALLY Listen.

The first step to effective leadership is listening.   When you take the time to ask someone how things are going for them (in their work, on a project, in their personal life, etc.) and you listen carefully, they will tell you a lot about themselves.

You can find out what and who is important to them, what makes them happy, what frustrates them, what they need for support and where they need help or guidance.

As a leader, part of your role is to provide guidance and support.  This may seem different than you are used to, especially if you’re used to just giving direction. Think about this for a minute…giving direction and providing tasks to be completed is different than guidance and support.

If you are truly a leader, people will look up to you, and will value your opinion.  They may not always agree, but they will respect you because they know that you respect them. And part of respecting them is knowing what is important in their world.

Creating this connection with the people you love or work with will help you lead with grace. Everyone wants to feel accepted, heard and understood and you have the opportunity to make someone feel great while guiding them in the direction you want them to go.

Listening to understand works like magic and people will reciprocate because that is human nature. Once they are in reciprocation mode (this may take more than one or two interactions!), there will be more buy in for the direction you want to go because you are all on the same team!

At this point, you can easily give them the direction they need so you can move forward with your plan. You  can guide them and show them their role in the team and how it will contribute to the greater good for everyone.

Practice listening to understand and you may be surprised at what people reveal to you.@DawnMariePayne  – Tweet It!

Lead Yourself First!

How effectively do you lead yourself? Do you do what you say you are going to do? Do you practice what you preach? Do you listen to yourself and your instincts?

These questions can get the thought process going so you can evaluate how effective you are at leading yourself. We have all had times when we knew we should do something or that we wanted something but held ourselves back for one reason or another.

Usually it is fear that holds us back. Fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of success. Usually fear is the culprit that prevents us from leading ourselves first. Some people like being the boss of everyone and really don’t take a good hard look at themselves and where they can grow and improve.

Sometimes, it is good to get some feedback or coaching from someone else so you can get a different perspective. New perspectives can give you valuable insight into why you may not do the things you know are actually good for you, or the things you have on your list that never get done.

If it’s not fear holding you back, maybe it’s that the work project, wanting to learn a new language, or going on a trip to somewhere exotic are not truly priorities. If they are not priorities, take them off your list! Consider them done and move on. If they really are priorities, find a compelling reason to focus on what you want, then schedule them and make them non-negotiable. Then, you can walk the talk and lead by example!

Now, I would like to hear from you.  Is there someone you need to listen to more so you can better understand who they are and what is important to them? Is there something you need to take off your list that you will never do or something you need to commit to and make non-negotiable?

Please share your insights below and share this post with your friends and family.  You never know who you can help.

Until next time, keep believing in yourself and keep going for your dreams. You are a leader and it starts with you!

Dawn xo